On Monday, October 19, Onyango Otieno posted a heartfelt message on Facebook describing his upbringing in a dysfunctional household and voicing his envy for children whose parents chose to leave abusive marriages. He condemned religious teachings that urge couples to stay together at any cost, arguing that such advice harms the most vulnerable – the children.
**Key points from the post**
- Otieno grew up never witnessing his parents happy, leaving him without any memory of laughing with a mother or father over the phone.
- He questioned the Christian teaching that God hates divorce, suggesting it paints God as a sadistic figure who enjoys children’s suffering.
- The man highlighted that many men suffer depression yet stay in unhappy unions because of societal pressure, while many women remain trapped for fear of losing the title of “wife.”
- He concluded that the greatest victims of abusive marriages are the children, who have no say in adult decisions.
What did Otieno write?
Otieno wrote, “I envy children whose parents left an abusive marriage instead of trying to make it work at all costs.” He added that religious leaders often advise women to endure abuse to please God, a stance he finds incomprehensible. “God must be a sadistic psychopath who loves pain if that’s the case,” he asserted, emphasizing the emotional damage inflicted on children.
Why does he blame societal expectations?
The author noted that men battling depression often lack the courage to leave unhappy marriages because they fear judgment and the loss of a “big happy family.” Similarly, women may stay in painful relationships to preserve their identity as a wife, even when personal happiness is absent.
How does this affect children?
Otieno stressed that children are the silent casualties, deprived of loving parental interactions. He recalled never receiving a simple, caring phone call from his parents—every greeting was followed by a request or problem, never an expression of affection.
Personal resolution
Accepting that he may never experience parental love, Otieno said he now creates joy wherever he feels loved, describing it as the only thing left to him.
[Christianity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity) and its stance on [divorce](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce) are central to his critique, while his experience reflects broader challenges faced by many families in [Nigeria](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nigeria).