Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were. —Cherie Carter-Scott
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. – Josh Billings
The past is a school, not your prison. Every so often, I see or hear about bitter chapters of people's lives and the hurts they nurse even several years after the hurt took place. Every time the story is told, you can feel the anger and the freshness of the nursed memories that just refuse to go away. Even I was well into my adult years before I forgave my father and some of my serial stepmothers for the anguish of a loveless childhood and the pains of being a victim of conflicts I did not cause and could not help. It was as if being the first male child came with the price-tag of persecution. How I survived those growing years remains a miracle!
What is the story of your own hurt? A betrayal by an associate you had grown to trust so deeply? A business deal that left you broke and frustrated while your partner smiled to the bank? A father who refused to send you to school even when he could afford it? A spouse who cheated and is rubbing it in? A promotion you missed because someone hated you?
The closer the source of the offence is, the deeper it hurts and the more difficult it is to forgive. Judas was not a distant disciple. He was one of Jesus' closest twelve; in fact, the group Accountant! It is easier to walk away when offended by a stranger or someone you have no close relationship with. But the story changes when the offender is very close to your skin. One of God's favourite strategies for developing character in you is to use people closest to you to train you. At such times, it's not about what is happening around you. It's about what is happening WITHIN you.
If you were David and your mentor turns out to be your tormentor, how would you react? Wouldn't you have picked up the spear and thrown it back after Saul's second attempt? If you were David, would you have spared Saul when you saw him in a most vulnerable state where killing him would have been very easy and would have rid you of your tormentor forever? However, the more David persecuted Saul, the more evident it became who really deserved to be king.
Cutting off your nose because you resent your face does nothing to enhance the value of the face. When you camp around a negative experience long enough, you arrest further movement into your future and foreclose the possibilities of a better tomorrow. Think about the many great things that stopped happening in your life because you are hurt. Simply because someone took advantage of your cheerful disposition, you have lost the smile that used to light up the atmosphere and made you the soul of every gathering. Yet in the mind of God, your destiny may be tied to your capacity to sustain that smile regardless of provocation! For the simple reason that your giving in time past did not seem to have been reciprocated, you have lost the capacity for generosity and with it, a guarantee of the flow of God's benevolence into your life.
Be honest. What really caused the high blood pressure you are nursing now? Toxic unreleased hurts? In that case, no anti-hypertensive drug can heal it. The cure is IN you. When you truly let go and let God, you will see your blood pressure return to normal, often without medication!
Unforgiveness traps you in a cage of someone else's making, but forgiveness hands you the key to unlock the door. No matter how deep the wound, how terrible the betrayal, or how catastrophic the loss, God's grace is sufficient to heal, restore, and make whole. When you release the offender, you realize that the prisoner you actually set free was you. Let go today, and step into the fullness of life, joy, and peace that God has ordained for you.
So, when people hurt you or betray your trust, it's really not about them. It's ALL ABOUT YOU! Have you ever prayed for the fruit of the Spirit especially the capacity to love? God's answer to that prayer is to send some unlovable people into your life. They will hurt you and literally throw your affection back at your face. It takes those who can endure the thorns qualify to enjoy the rose.
What you call offence or even betrayal is God's way of propelling you to the next level. How else would you have learnt to pray like you now do if there was no one to hurt you? Without Judas to betray Him, how else would Jesus have gone to the cross? If He never went to the cross, how else would He have become the Saviour of all?
As Jesus drew closer to the end of His earthly sojourn, He felt it was time to share with His disciples some deep things regarding what He would have to go through to accomplish it. But first He asked them two questions. The first had to do with who people thought he was (as He was certain that they would have discussed such to the hearing of His followers). After they had given various perspectives, He pointedly asked who THEY (His disciples) thought He was. Peter was the first to blurt out what Jesus affirmed was a divinely inspired answer. Peter was not only promptly commended but also had a christening ceremony as a memento of the inspired revelation. Convinced that His disciples fully grasped His mission, Jesus began to share details of what He would have to endure for it to become a reality. Riled by the horrific details, Peter would hear none of that and he promptly rebuked Jesus, forbidding Him from saying such things. Jesus' response was prompt and sharp; "Get behind me SATAN! Because you are only speaking from your limited human understanding, not from God's perspective" (my paraphrase).
After an all-night prayer session to prepare Himself and His followers for what was to come, Judas Iscariot led a group of soldiers and Jewish elders to betray and ultimately arrest Jesus. As soon as Jesus saw Judas, He said 'FRIEND, why have you come?'
The one who was trying to prevent His death He likened to Satan the enemy, and the one who was going to hasten it He called Friend! What did He know that you must know if you are to live victoriously and fulfil destiny? Your real friend is the one whose actions, positively or negatively propel you in the direction of your life purpose! Conversely, your enemy may be the one who even with the best of intentions, is trying to prevent you from taking the tough road and decisions that hasten your journey!