Ramadan: Women Balancing Spirituality and Family Duties

It’s that time of year again – Ramadan, a period when women find themselves at the height of their domestic obligations, managing cooking and cleaning while also balancing work and family duties.

Have you ever considered how women manage to find time for prayer and rest amid fulfilling family responsibilities during Ramadan? While everyone observing the fast grapples with hunger and thirst, striving to enhance their religious devotions, women engage in similar pursuits. However, their home duties, such as cooking and caregiving, tend to amplify, especially at iftar and suhoor, coinciding with periods when others are settling down for the night.

Ramadan stands as a time for worship, sacrifice, and joy for Muslims. Yet, for many women, particularly those who are married and young mothers, this month is often filled with additional fatigue and stress stemming from household chores, the strain of rising food costs alongside insufficient income, and the anxiety of possibly missing sahoor or iftar, all while trying to manage a professional life.

How do working women handle such scenarios? Malama A’isha Isyaku exemplifies countless women who navigate the challenges of Ramadan amidst demanding circumstances. As a secondary school teacher, wife, and mother of four, Ramadan for A’isha transcends mere fasting; it is also a test of endurance, meticulous planning, and emotional fortitude.

“In previous years, I would dread the approach of Ramadan, not because of the fasting itself but due to the balancing act required to ensure I didn’t miss out on the month’s blessings. There was schoolwork, returning home weary, cooking, caring for the kids, and not forgetting my spiritual duties. None of these could afford to be neglected,” she shared.

A’isha recounted how, during the initial years of her marriage 15 years ago, she entered Ramadan unprepared, resulting in overwhelming fatigue that sometimes distracted her from her worship. Over time, she realized that the core issue wasn't Ramadan itself but rather her lack of preparation as the month approached.

Now, prior to the start of the holy month, A’isha meticulously organizes her activities. She creates meal plans for iftar and suhoor, sets aside her limited budget, and schedules her work and rest periods. This structured approach has allowed her to reserve personal time for rest and spirituality, including reciting the Qur’an, performing zikr (remembrance of God), and sleeping.

Despite her careful planning, the escalating cost of living has complicated these preparations in recent years. Although food prices in Kano have decreased compared to last year, her limited finances hinder her from shopping for Ramadan as adequately as in the past.

“When I reflect on it, the smaller amount I earned previously felt more bountiful than my current earnings. My salary has risen, yet I find myself unable to achieve even half of what I used to. Praise be to God; food prices are lower this year compared to last, but it limits me to only five measures of rice, half a carton of spaghetti, and some macaroni.

“For beans, I can procure just two measures during Ramadan, adding one measure of millet. That’s about all I can afford. Should we receive donations, we express our gratitude to God. If not, we cope as best as we can. Enduring hunger is not sinful,” she stated.

A’isha remarked that this reality causes many women to approach Ramadan with trepidation, emphasizing, “When finances are tight, each day feels like a test from God intended to assess your faith.”

"The Struggle in the First Ten Days"

Hajiya Tabawa Isa, a 48-year-old housewife with more than two decades of marriage and seven children, commented that although she does not have a formal job outside her home, her workload sees a significant increase during Ramadan.

“The housework is unending, despite not working outside,” she noted.

During sahoor, she ensures that everyone gets to eat before she does. At iftar, she takes on the responsibility of preparing meals, often being the last to eat after ensuring that her family is fed and satisfied. She then looks after the children, maintains the house, and tries to find some time for worship before going to bed at night.

According to her, the initial ten days of Ramadan are often the most challenging.

“At times, I wish to read the Qur’an, yet the children are demanding food or are upset. Sleep deprivation occurs often. My husband expects timely preparation of iftar meals, and if sahoor is missed or iftar is delayed, the entire blame falls on my shoulders.

“I have six boys, and the youngest is a girl. They leave for work and leave everything to me. I handle everything by myself, yet, by God’s grace, I manage to pull through,” she explained.

Nevertheless, Hajiya Tabawa remarked that Ramadan does not overwhelm her to the same extent as it does for some women. She attributes this to her experience and familiarity with household management, recognizing how to streamline tasks, concluding that overly elaborate cooking is unnecessary.

“Planning and simplicity are imperative,” she asserted.

Her sentiments echoed those of Halimatu Abdullahi, a journalist from Kano. Halimatu believes that the primary cause of anxiety for many women during Ramadan is poor planning.

“Some women tend to be neglectful. By the time they wake, they have wasted precious time that should be dedicated to preparations. This leads to a backlog of tasks, causing them stress even before Ramadan officially begins.”

She further noted, “Many women cook excessively, preparing more food than can be consumed. This not only leads to fatigue but also results in significant food wastage.”

Halimatu firmly believes that when women organize their lives, the experience of Ramadan becomes manageable. “With everything in place, women can complete their chores, clean the kitchen, and still find time to relax before breaking their fast,” she indicated.

She observed that women often prepare meals for sahoor and iftar simultaneously to lessen the burden of early morning cooking, while others utilize modern food preservation methods to manage their time better and preserve energy for spiritual activities.

"The Reality of Working Women During Ramadan"

Halimatu also shared insights regarding the lives of working-class women during Ramadan, asserting that it is not one’s formal education that transforms a woman’s experience, but rather her ability to structure her life efficiently.

“Women who work outside their homes often adhere to structured schedules, aiding them in organizing other facets of their existence,” she stated.

A’isha Isyaku concurred, affirming that her teaching profession has imparted the importance of time management, stating, "Without proper planning, your time can easily slip away from you."

Nonetheless, she acknowledged that even those not formally educated or engaged in work outside the home can sustain a smoother Ramadan through effective planning. Hajiya Tabawa added that there's no justification for a full-time housewife to start Ramadan feeling overwhelmed. “Being at home allows you to strategize effectively, and once you navigate your tasks methodically, everything will align,” she remarked.

What Women Cherish Most About Ramadan

Despite high living costs and large families complicating matters, there are elements of Ramadan that women deeply appreciate. Both A’isha and Hajiya Tabawa highlighted the opportunity for increased worship, allowing them to cultivate a closer bond with God than at any other time.

Halimatu expressed that she experiences heightened peace and happiness during Ramadan, remarking, “Rewards and acts of worship multiply.” This spiritual satisfaction enables many women to overlook the hardships they face.

Food played a significant role during iftar and sahoor in women’s lives. In earlier times, sahoor was deemed a substantial endeavor, demanding night-time cooking. However, many women today combine sahoor and iftar meals or reheat pre-prepared food for sahoor, showcasing the adaptation to changing lifestyles and rising food prices.

“People no longer awaken at 2 am for preparation as our parents did,” Halimatu stated. This simplification affords women additional rest.

Moreover, Ramadan serves to strengthen family ties. Despite the challenges, families unite at iftar to share a meal together. A’isha noted that it is during these moments that she feels a special joy, surrounded by her children and husband.

Hajiya Tabawa emphasized that Ramadan teaches children valuable lessons in patience and endurance while navigating hunger, rendering all efforts worthwhile.