Stephanie Inakoju: Steering Clear of the Jealousy Trap

Jealousy is a persistent emotion that has been a part of human experience throughout history. It affects individuals from all walks of life and resembles a rapidly spreading ailment capable of causing significant turmoil when unchecked. I have observed it devastate many lives. Gifted people, who would better spend their energy on self-betterment, often permit jealousy to overwhelm them, transforming into someone unrecognizable. I have nearly succumbed to this feeling myself, but I learned to confront and eradicate it, choosing to liberate myself from its grasp.

There have been numerous occasions when jealousy attempted to overpower me—such as during my university lectures and German language classes. I recall one incident in particular during a German lesson. Our instructor posed questions regarding our assignment, calling on us one by one. A particular classmate consistently answered every question accurately, while I struggled to get mine right. Usually, I am a light-hearted individual, yet at that moment, I became something I detest. I began to conjure negative thoughts. The glances I cast her way were likely felt, but she chose to ignore them and concentrate on her studies, which was the priority for her, unlike me.

I have also felt envy towards others for various reasons, especially when someone reached milestones I yearned for myself. However, before jealousy could take full control, I decided to combat it. I trained myself to progress at my own pace; I had no desire to rush into decisions I might later regret. Reflecting on the things I heard about myself helped to calm my mind. From that moment on, I resolved to focus on thoughts that fostered personal improvement. Rather than feeling envy towards others, I encourage myself with the belief that I can attain whatever I set my sights on through diligence, consistency, and unwavering dedication.

This understanding also extends to familial relationships and accomplishments. Jealousy can thrive among families that covet what others possess, never truly appreciating their own advantages or the tranquility they enjoy. The adage, “All that glitters is not gold,” holds true here as it is often elusive to grasp the trials each family endures behind closed doors. Nevertheless, some families still succumb to envy, perpetually comparing their circumstances to those of others.

I have learned that fostering jealousy towards another does not alter their reality in any way. Greatness cannot be achieved through envy. That said, I realize that a certain degree of jealousy may serve as motivation, urging us to better ourselves and transform any negative energy stemming from these feelings into something constructive.

Jealousy has existed long before our time and will persist long after we are gone. The crucial factor is how we manage that jealousy. You can let it engulf you and turn you into someone you do not recognize, or you can channel that negative energy into self-improvement, cultivating a more positive and joyful spirit.